Cowgirls Don’t Cry


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I have a lot to say, but can’t really formulate the intricacies.  So pardon me if this seems a little disconnected.

Ladies, this one’s for you.

I know that women have fought tooth and nail to gain this badge of armor we call “WOMAN”.  Sometimes we take that five letter word and feel like we have to “ROAR” because we are one.  We’ve protested, both nationally and inwardly, burned bras and divorced cheating husbands.  We’ve cowgirled up to become independent, smart, able beings who don’t need anybody to take care of us.  But on the inside we’re all the same.  You and me, we’re fragile.  Underneath our rugged exteriors, there’s a story.  There’s a 14 year old girl waiting for her Prince Charming, daydreaming about all of the things he is, and how he’s going to save me. 

At the root of every girl’s daydream about being loved and finding that amazing guy is one universal theme: loyalty.  And for me, I want fierce loyalty.  I have spent too much time in my past putting myself on the back burner, trying to save ex-boyfriends.  I have spent too much time bending and making concessions because I thought “maybe if I loosen up a bit, this could be it“.  Like any American girl, I have daydreamed of finding true love. 

I’m blessed enough to say that I’ve found it.  I couldn’t ask for a better soul to be joined to mine.  Truly.

But ladies, I need your help.  How do you relay to your One that through a shitstorm, sometimes the best (and simplest) thing he can do is have your back?  How do you express to him that even though you wear your Cowgirl persona like it’s going out of style, that you’re still vulnerable and just need a little TLC sometimes?  That no matter how petty the conversation or opposition, all you want to hear is “I love you, and you matter enough that I’m not going to allow this to deflate you”?  Or that regardless of what’s being said, he’ll take a stand and say “She may not be 100% accurate on this one, but I will not allow you to disrespect her, because she means the world to me”? 

[Nothing crazy has happened in my relationship, don’t go letting your mind race.  I’m just noticing that in general, women want these things from their mate and the guy brain says “Hey, if you’re wrong, there’s not much I can do” or even worse, “It’s not that big of a deal, I don’t know why you’re taking it so personally”.  Men and women communicate differently, and I’m using this platform simply to vent.]

I just want to be championed for.  I know it sounds frilly and old-fashioned and maybe even a little oh, why don’t I say it: dramatic.  I know.  But you know what?  At the end of the day I’m just a girl.  With a heart…  With a story…  And I just want to know that no matter how large or small of a deal it is, my back’s covered.  I want to know always that wrong or right, somebody will advocate for me when I’m too upset or appalled to speak the words myself.  I want to know that when somebody speaks crossly at me I have “You will not disrespect her in this conversation” on my side.

Maybe I’m asking too much.  Maybe I should shut the Hell up and be grateful for what I have: a home, a healthy son, a beautiful stepdaughter-in-waiting, an amazing man.  I have my education, my career, my family.  I have my health and Jesus.  I am living a dream, I am.

But I’m wracking my brain wondering why men don’t see this as a big deal?  Can anyone enlighten me?

One thought on “Cowgirls Don’t Cry

  1. Jamie says:

    I completely understand what you are saying , I spent 13 years in a relationship that I was cussed out by every member of his family and it started with his oldest daughter when she was 11. She did it in front of him and my 3 year old daughter. He would not do anything to stop it but he would stop me from doing anything about it. I was a struggling single mother and I stayed because I could not make it alone. Now both my daughter and son are grown up and they treat me awful because the whole time they were young I was always crying and having to defend myself. Now my daughter told me that I am a hateful person and a waste of space. My son will not even speak to me because I finally found a man who stood up for me and let them know that he was not going to let them disrespect me. I have a granddaughter that I no longer get to see and it breaks my heart. But I have a man who has my back and it only took me 39 years to find him.

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