Ebb and Flow

Life, as we all eventually learn, ebbs and flows.  Like waves lapping at the banks of a river or the tide rolling along the beach, life ebbs and flows.  The past fourteen days of my life have proven this to me yet again.

You see, I need to be reminded of this at various points in my life.  My experience tells me that the time between reminders grows longer with each one.  Also I’ve noticed that I learn a valuable life lesson each time a good ole reminder rolls around.

As you may know, my job has been super crazy lately.  With new management settling in and patient load increasing, I’ve been one stressed cookie.  I can see the chain of events leading up to my illness clearly: The week before I got sick with the flu I worked 6 days in a row (Sun-Fri), all but one being 10.5-12 hour shifts.  I had the weekend off and BAM! Monday morning I arose at about 2:00 a.m. to go pee (good Lord, nocturia! Am I 80?), and felt funny (I was refusing to be sick!)…  When I woke to get ready for work I knew my body has succumbed.  Damn it!  I was sick.  Tuesday came and I felt worse.  So, a doctor’s trip (and bill) and a $60 pharmacy tab later I was on my way to health.  I didn’t return to work until this Monday.

Before I got sick I was starting to doubt that I really wanted to work at my facility anymore.  It was becoming so stressful (it still IS stressful, but improving) I began to dread going.  I wanted to act like a 5 year old who has been told “No” about something– I envisioined myself latching to the bedposts, holding on for dear life while Jay tried prying me away so I’m not late for work.  I envisioned a tantrum.  Hahaha.  But seriously.  It was bad.  

But returning to work has actually been a good thing.  My last post was basically me whining that I don’t have any friends… Let’s look at the big picture (like a big girl now, Bre!)– I work full time at a demanding job.  I have a serious boyfriend (whom I love dearly).  I also am a homebody, which is a new thing for me.  When I lived in Cedar Falls, I was a social butterfly.  I went out partying pretty regularly with my girlfriends, I went to school, I worked, I travelled often to visit family…  Then I moved here.  And while I love it here, I haven’t found my niche.

I’m rambling.  This is also something I’ve noticed lately.  I have a lot to say, it seems.  🙂

ANYWAYS,

Work.  Ahh, yes, well let’s just say that this week, I have hope.  Our new administrator is a “Git r Dun” philosopher and she’s also worked as a Certified Nurse’s Aide before so she has insight.  THANK YOU GOD!  I like that she’s a team player, not afraid to “get her hands dirty”.  I feel comfortable asking her questions.  I’m still trying to feel her out, and make a good impression on her.  (Because yanno, people sometimes think I’m a bitch.  And I do NOT want my BOSS to think that!  I am sort of a bitch but I try to keep my hobbies at home.  Aren’t I funny?!)

Also this week I am training a new RN.  It exhilirates me to tell my parents that I, an LPN, am training an RN.  That in this one spectrum of my career my title doesn’t really matter.  (I had a patient ask me one time if I was a “real nurse”?  Uh, what?  “Well, are you an RN?”  I told him I wasn’t and he proceeded to tell me I wasn’t a “real nurse”.  Thanks, fucker.  “I’m licensed by the Iowa State Board of Nursing and I had to sit for state boards, just like an RN did.  My license is valid and I’ve had proper training.  Now, do you want your Dilaudid or NOT?”  No joke.  I was infuriated.)  The nurse I’ve been guiding all week is awesome!  She was actually born and raised in Ireland, moved to the US to complete nursing school (Ireland’s waiting list was three years), attended school at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, met her husband, moved to Washington State and ended up in Iowa City.  Also?  She’s been a nurse for my entire life (minus two years).  She’s also a really good nurse and about three times today we were answering each others’ sentences…

In the personal realm, I’ve been lucky as well.  On Tuesday night the stars aligned for myself and my recently-new acquaintance, Jill.  She and I have mutual friends (new parents, Warren and Adriane) and hit it off the first time we met.  We sat in the summer sun, had a beer and a cigarette, yakkin’ it up.  [Theory: When people have a smoke together, it’s sort of a bonding thing.  A subculture, almost of Smokers.]  So, yeah.  I can smell a ho-mance (guys have “bromance” so I made this)!  Truth is, she’s very cool, very cultured and also sarcastic.  Which is a must with me.

In total, this week has loosened that dial that was stuck on “EBB”.  The dial has rotated to “FLOW” cycle and my life is like a dryer full of warm, fluffed, delightfully good-smelling laundry.  

(Except.  I’m having a pretty big personal struggle… More to come on that, but just know it’s about visiting Jazz vs. work.)

*Trying to remain chipper*

I’m on a Personal Improvement Movement, dovetailed with my Friend Crusade (all self-titled, btw).  Wish me luck; but so far, so good!

Have a great weekend everybody!

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10 thoughts on “Ebb and Flow

  1. Chibi Jeebs says:

    I don’t blame you for being infuriated — what nerve! I think I would have been tempted to tell him that he could sit and rot (I mean wait *wink*) for a “real” nurse. It can be really hard to remember that life ebbs and flows when you’re in the midst of an ebb. Good luck! 🙂

    • Bre says:

      Thanks much! I’m notorious for putting my patients in their places (when *needed*, of course!)… I’ll mediate catfights, tell an obscene patient to KNOCK IT OFF! , etc…
      Thanks, Buddy!

  2. You really need the ebbs to truly appreciate the flows. Glad things are, for the most part, going well for you.

  3. Nanna says:

    I’m glad things are getting better, baby. And you ARE a real nurse – in fact, you’re a really good nurse. And you know I don’t say that ALL that often. 🙂

    By the way, I had to laugh at the thought of Jay prying you off the bedpost. You know he wouldn’t even be awake at that hour! Nice thought though. lol

    • Bre says:

      Thanks, Mama Bear!
      And I know, right? BUT Jay (ironically) woke up 5:40 a.m. this morning… (Creepy!). But yeah, on a normal day he would not, in fact be awake to pry me away…. Although when I first started there, Jay would wake up in a panic (a couple of times) and make sure I was awake/aware of the fact I had to work… Haha.
      Thanks for the compliment, also. It means a lot to me because (as you well know) I give 110% on the job.
      XO

  4. Selma says:

    That patient was an idiot. Doesn’t he know you never argue with the nurse holding the Dilaudid? 😀

    I know what you mean about qualifications.When I was teaching I was always made Head Teacher not because I was necessarily all that brilliant but because I had a degree rather than a diploma. I felt bad having seniority over teachers with ten years more experience than me. It didn’t seem right.

    I needed to read your ebb and flow post today. It is an important reminder that the bad days usually don’t last. You are obviously an exceptional nurse if you are being used in a training capacity. That is excellent!

    • Bre says:

      Oh, yeah, no. Never sass the lady with the drugs! Hehe. I’m glad Ebb and Flow has been a somewhat-“hit” (at least for MY blog lol)…. I feel really passionately about it.
      Honestly? I feel that by *aiming* for perfection I’ll at LEAST come out somewhere on top 🙂
      PS I’m borderline OCD… Lmao!

  5. Tina says:

    Hi Bre, Came across your site here quite by accident…about to attend a funeral and feeling a bit reflective on life…thinking about a quote I had heard about how life is like a river, how it “ebbs and flows”… ended up here and couldn’t resist reading your blog. Found your writing very entertaining, I am a nurse also so we have a lot in common!

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